If you know me, you know I loathe New Years Resolutions. It’s essentially setting a goal you know you’ll fail at, but you expect to be fully committed and successful at. If you were going to do what you’re wanting to start on Jan 1, you would have started it on Dec 31. That being said. I am making a resolution public that I’ve already attempted since July 2014. Being the man of God that he intended for me to be. At this point in my life, it’s being a Godly husband, the leader to my house, the leader my wife needs me to be, and yes I said needs because…well…it’s biblical. So the next series of posts will be a personal account of my resolution to God, my wife, and my family.
We don’t have s first chapter is basically talking about why children need their father. So as I read through it I won’t lie, I thought “this isn’t for me”. But it occurred to me I missed two very important parts. First, I hope one day we will be blessed with a flannel wearing, camp loving, fishing, rough baby boy. Second, I have a nephew who needs a Godly uncle in his life. So I went back through it, reread it, and came away from it with a different mindset.
All to often, men, we fall asleep at the wheel. We are the driver, think about how dangerous this really is. Personally I never looked at this life as being in a car but it is the best analogy that could have been printed. Men fail in two ways in this aspect:
- Asleep: I am extremely guilty of this. I forgot that money isn’t the most important thing. My wife, bless her, has been sick 2 days. She needed me to stay at home and nurture her this morning. What did I do? Go off to my second job, which adding in I own the business I went to work at. I didn’t need to go, we didn’t need the money, it was unnecessary and I was needed at home. I put work first and it was a wrong decision. This chapter was about being a dad though so I only half related. When it comes to my nephew though…I failed him in the most agonizing way. This last summer when we were planning the wedding I was at my in-laws house and me and my nephew had a moment we went outside to catch crickets for my spider. Eventually, after catching 1 giant camel cricket he stopped and looked up at all of the stars and said “wow I’ve never noticed how many stars there are”. Ding ding ding wake up Matt! Wake up! WAKE UP!!!!!! Missed it. Asleep at the wheel. I said yeah check out the Big Dipper, see that it’s the Milky Way, let’s see if we can see the satalite passing by….blah blah blah blah blah. Stupid. I missed an opportunity to connect with him in a deeper way than I’ve ever had before or since.
- Dictatorship: or some men take this leader thing to a new level. You can’t lead on a high horse, leading means you get into the mud and get you hands dirty. I hope I’m not this way ever so my experience is limited, but I will say that me and my wife work together as we can. I pick up where she lacks as does she when I lack. Even with that I fail sometimes.
Opportunities though. Young men and women, boys and girls, need a father. How will your son know what love is if you don’t know the love of Our Heavenly Father? They will by default look at you and connect God to the love you show them. If you are not getting up, taking you son or daughter to church, talking to them about God, praying with them and for them, teaching them to be Godly. You are handing them over to the world. You are failing them, and your not fulfilling your role as a Godly rolemodel. Then when they’re 16 on drugs, pregnant, in prison…..you’ll wonder why. No I’m not saying if your child is 16 and any of those you didn’t stand and be courageous when the time was nigh, but you did fail them and God…and some of the reason falls on your head. You have to ask yourself, am I willing to let sin into my home, into my child’s life, and risk their soul? Are you willing to work to many hours, sacrifice time in front of a tv, reaching for a bottle, to jeopardize your child’s salvation?
“Right now, this generation doesn’t know what true fatherhood looks like. They rarely see it modeled in the media or at home. And sadly, the result is another generation deeply struggling to understand what God is really like” (Kendrick & Alcorn, 2011). This is what it’s came to? Stand up, wake up, take the wheel. Be the leader.
“I do solemnly resolve before God to take full responsibility for myself, my wife, and my children.” (Kendrick & Alcorn 2011)
Kendrick, & Alcorn. (2011). The Resolution For Men. Nashville , TN: B&H Books.